Nice Shade Of Egg I’m Wearing!

For the most part, all of us attempt to be on our “best behavior” during a seminar. Some of us, however, have experienced slight trials or mini-crises to disrupt this dignified composure during these events. Undaunted, we muddle though with a plastic smile plastered onto the front of our quivering stature. To this end, here is my most embarrassing moment, thus far. Other, more frightening circumstances, lurk around each new seminar.

During the rush to get to the final day’s breakfast, I accidentally drenched myself with more than half a bottle of cologne. Thankfully, I was not yet dressed. Reeking, there was no alternative, than to quickly re-shower. Unnoticed, the hotel’s shower curtain left the tinniest gap. The ensuing flood became apparent only after I stepped out of the hasty shower without an ark. My only pair of fresh underwear was now quite thoroughly soaked and completely useless, except as a mop. Grimacing, and extremely late, I made the crucial mistake of dressing underwear-less.

The day’s activities seemed to lull me into a false tranquility…better known as “the quiet, before the storm.” As most of you know, frequently KM’s need to be reconfigured to accommodate the next class’s demo. The KM had to be changed from GC work to DJ, which requires a ribber and color changer. I neglected to make this change after the previous class. Rushing back from my booth, laden with garments, I prodigiously set to work, chattering all the while with the more than 50 ladies sardined into this space. Naturally, the ribber had been placed strategically by Murphy on the floor. With my rear to the populace, I, appropriately, bent down to retrieve it. Apparently, Mr. Murphy has a cohort working diligently in the apparel industry. The entire back seam of my pants split, exposing my nakedness to one and all.

Mine was not the only voice that could be heard shrieking into the wilderness. A couple of extremely helpful Mother-types came to my aide. I proudly wore one of the sweaters tied around my waist in a truly trend-setting fashion. It was quickly exchanged by hysterical sleight of hand when it needed to be used for show ’n tell.

It’s always delightful to be the featured guest at a gathering, but, trust me, there must be a much more pleasant way to achieve this goal. I haven’t any idea if the remainder of my classes that day were really the subject that the crowds wanted to have covered, or if a purulent interest gathered so many into my teaching space. I have a feeling it is the latter.

Lesson Learned

I now pack at least two weeks worth of underwear, carry a newly acquired plastic bottle for just the exact amount of cologne, and frequently check the shower curtain!